The last thing I ever want is to raise a spoiled brat. It's super easy to sit back and tell yourself "I will never do this or that with my kids." Turns out it's usually harder to actually put those thoughts into practice.
Jude has entered this new phase and I am totally unprepared for it. Jude has had the sudden realization that there are things at the store; things he WANTS. And he is no longer a baby who is easily tricked or distracted. Oh, and he's a two year old who throws TANTRUMS about everything under the sun. Jude also never forgets anything. Just take him somewhere once and he will always remember what he did there. Months ago I took Jude to get shoes. Now every time we pass that store he tells me he got shoes there. Every time, without any prompting from me. He also remembers which stores have trains and where those trains are in the store. Target has become a nightmare because Jude just runs straight for the toy section. I have no idea how to handle this Jude.
So today I decided to go to Kohl's. I had some Kohl's reward cash that expired soon. Our Kohl's is pretty terrible and picked over all the time, so I knew there wouldn't be much that I wanted. I planned to grab a small thing we needed and use the rest of the money to buy this cool boat toy I had seen before. Jude doesn't care for any of our bath toys and I thought I could get rid of those and let him have this toy that I knew he would love. And with my rewards money, I could get it for free. Great plan, right?
Well, the second we walked into the store Jude immediately started screaming for a choo choo. I managed to make it to the kitchen section to grab what I needed and then I promised Jude we could go to the toy section. I showed him the boat toy and he was excited. But then, something else caught my eye. It was a fancy Thomas the train track toy, and I noticed that it was missing the train. (Our Kohl's is super trashy. Toys are always missing half their parts; it's ridiculous.) I knew we didn't need any more trains, but this track was neat and would go with the set he got for Christmas. That's when I made my first mistake. I thought I was being clever. I knew most of the toys were on clearance and I also knew that they would give me a discount if I bought this toy missing pieces (yes, this has happened to me before). So I casually took the toy over to the price scanner to check the price. Unfortunately, the barcode was slashed (seriously, why is this store so shady?) so it couldn't read the price. A little voice in my head said, put the toy back. It's probably not on sale and you don't even need it! And that's when I made my second mistake. I ignored that voice.
By this point, Jude had noticed me standing around, saw the toy, and immediately dropped the boat and went for the cool toy I had. I'll just take it to the front, I thought, and they can price check it. That stupid bargain hunter in me wouldn't let me give it up for some reason. Then I made the next mistake: I let Jude hold the toy while we walked to the front and waited in line. By this point I started to get nervous. I realized that toy was probably not going to be cheap and Jude was getting really attached to it. Uh oh. We got up to the register and I asked for the price. It was not on sale. Even with the discount it was more money than I wanted to spend. As I quickly contemplated what to do, Jude started acting up, crying for his toy. And then I made my final mistake: I bought the toy. All because I didn't want to cause a scene at the checkout.
Okay, it's a small thing. I still only paid a little out of pocket with my rewards and it wasn't the end of the world. But I didn't feel good about it at all. As I thought about it more and more, I realized that this wasn't the first time I've done this. It's not always a toy, but maybe a candy or extra time before nap. Instead of dealing with a tantrum I just cave. What the heck? That's not parenting! I don't want my children to become spoiled or think they can just threaten to throw a fit to get their way. So my parenting fail today taught me a great lesson. I need to learn to deal with these tantrums; they're only going to get worse. It's a new year, a time for new resolutions. This year I resolve to learn to handle these situations! No children will be spoiled here. So... does anyone have any advice?!
We have a copy of "Happiest toddler on the block." It's a DVD by the same pediatrician who wrote "Happiest baby on the block." I don't know what all is covered in it but it probably talks about tantrums. Look it up and let me know if you want me to send it to you! Good luck!
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